Category Archives: News

The Country That Got It Right: New Zealand Is Free From Coronavirus!

Jacinda Ardern, the prime minister of New Zealand, has declared that her country is free from the deadly coronavirus and she has officially ended the lockdown in her country – much to the delight of New Zealanders. 

There are, however, still stringent border controls in place which are intended to keep new cases of the deadly virus away from the country. 

But robust social distancing methods have been lifted after health officials in the country confirmed that no new cases of COVID-19 had been detected. 

During a press conference, Ms Ardern said that her country had: 

“united in unprecedented ways to crush the virus”. 

The popular prime minister has been praised for her government’s handling of the global pandemic, with the World Health Organisation also commending her administration of the emergency. 

On the 25th March, New Zealand was put into lockdown for four weeks. 

After that period, the restrictions slowly started to ease. 

Meanwhile, in the UK, three months after the lockdown started, lockdown measures have only recently started to ease. 

But from midnight tonight, all restrictions in New Zealand will be lifted.

Back in March, New Zealand had around 200 confirmed cases the virus. Even during its peak, only 1,500 cases were confirmed. 

Twenty-two people in New Zealand died after contracting the virus. 

That represents a figure of around 0.0000044% of the total population. 

In the UK, over 40,000 people have died, which represents a figure of around 0.00061538% of the population – a mortality rate 1,398 times higher than New Zealand. 

Scientists have said that the mortality rate in New Zealand could have been much higher had their government not have acted so swiftly. 

Man Hiding From The Cops Gives His Location Away After Loud Fart

On Thursday, officers from Nottinghamshire Police executed a warrant at a residential address to try and find a male who had been giving them the slip.

However, when the police arrived, the male had other ideas and made good his escape by running and hiding in some local ‘foulage’.

The suspect thought that hiding in the woods would be enough to throw officers off the scent, so to speak.

But as the officers were searching the undergrowth, they heard a distinctive noise that can only be attributed to the every-day function of the human body; the suspect let off an ‘air biscuit’.

A spokesperson for Nottinghamshire Police confirmed that officers heard a noise “believed to be the sound of someone breaking wind from a nearby bush”.

Once the male had given away his location, it wasn’t long before officers picked him up and carted him away.

Perhaps another good reason why anyone with a dairy intolerance should lay off of the stuff. Especially when you are ‘playing’ hide n seek.

Refuse Collectors Report Seeing A “30% Increase” In Food Waste As Hoarders Start Throwing Away Out-Of-Date Food

Refuse collectors around the country have started to report drastic increases in the amount of food waste being collected from households as the hundreds of thousands of people who panic bought items begin to throw away the food they never even needed. 

One of the lasting images of the COVID-19 outbreak will be pictures of irrational people fighting over food in supermarkets which they could have bought/had delivered at any time. 

Because there has never actually been a threat to the supply of our food, other than the threat posed owing to people hoarding items just because they saw other people doing the same thing on social media. 

And even though the government and food retailers told people not to panic-buy (because there was no need to), thousands of shoppers went into a zombie-like frenzy as they scooped up anything and everything they could lay their hands on. 

And now, it would seem, most of them not only wasted their time and money but wasted tonnes of fresh produce. 

One refuge collector said:

“In the past two weeks, we have seen a 30% increase in Food Waste collected from households. 

“The additional weight is mainly fresh food that has gone out of date and was never even touched, some still in wrappers”.

So while those of us who resisted the urge to become overnight professional hoarders still have an extra couple of quid in our bank accounts, the individuals who decided to fill their fridges with fresh produce they never even needed will probably be kicking themselves right now. 

But it was always a simple matter of common sense; nobody needed to panic buy because the shops weren’t running out of the items which the panic buyers were buying. 

It was the panic buyers themselves who were creating the problem in the first place!

And now, tonnes of fresh produce are needlessly thrown away as their sell-by dates are rapidly approaching. 

Common sense could have prevented the situation from arising. 

But it would appear that common sense is rarer than toilet paper. But at least toilet paper doesn’t have a ‘wipe by’ date. 

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Morrisons Install Screens To Protect Their Checkout Staff

As most of us get used to not seeing anyone other than the people we live with, thousands of retail staff around the country are working to make sure that we can still get vital provisions during this (at least) three-week lockdown. 

There has been quite a bit of ‘chatter’ on the internet over the past few days about supermarkets being ‘hotbeds’ for passing COVID-19 around owing to the sheer number of people going to the shops. 

So what about the men and women who are working on the checkouts? 

Until now, we haven’t seen them being afforded any protection from the tens-of-thousands of desperate shoppers they see daily. 

Well, Morrisons seems to have stepped up to the mark and have now started to instal screens on the checkouts at some of their stores to protect their employees from being breathed, coughed and sneezed on. 

Good on you, Morrisons! 

It is only right that the men and women who are helping to keep the nation fed are not forgotten when it comes to protecting people who put themselves at risk of getting COVID-19 to keep the country running. 

Hopefully, more stores and retail chains will follow. 

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Italy Is Begging The World To Listen And React Before Its Too Late

A letter from Italy

“Peace for all,

We live in Italy – Milan,

I’m going to share with you and explain to you, “How is life here in Milan” during these difficult days and how do I think you should learn from the mistakes and their consequences that we live here.

We are currently in quarantine. We don’t take to the streets, the police are in constant motion and arrest anyone outside his home.

Everything is closed! … business, malls, stores, all streets without movement.

Feeling of the end of the world !!

Italy, the country of living life, is transformed from one moment to the next as if it were a dark country of war.

It is a fact that I never thought I would ever live!

People are confused, sad, anxious and helpless, and often do not understand how this reality was imposed on them and when this whole nightmare will end.

The big mistake was that at the start of the first hit people continued to lead their lives as usual and took to the streets for work, entertainment and feeling like a vacation period, so gatherings with friends and banquets abound.

Everyone was wrong and so were you!

I beg you, be careful, this is neither a laugh nor a joke.

Protect your loved ones, your parents, and your grandparents! The disease is dangerous for them.

About 200 people die here every day, not because medicine in Milan is not good (it’s one of the best in the world), but rather because there are no places for everyone!

Doctors choose who will die! This is only because of the silliness of the citizens at the beginning, who decided to continue their lives as usual, regardless of the new situation!

Please, learn from the mistakes, we are a small country that could end up with a great tragedy.

Listen well now ,,, 🙏

Don’t go out into crowded places.

Try not to eat in public places.

Stay longer at home during this time!

Listen to the Ministry of Health guidelines (don’t play it!).

Talk about a meter away from each person, do not come close, do not cuddle or accept.

Get a complementary and preventive treatment and learn from others’ mistakes.

We recommend that you take vitamin C to boost your immune system.

Helping professionals prevent the spread of the epidemic …

In Italy, the entire country is isolated, meaning 60 million people in quarantine !!

This would have been prevented if people had heard the instructions from the beginning.

Take care of yourself and the life of the ones you love

Share the message to all people far n near.”

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New Website Tells You How Much Toilet Paper You Actually Need And How Long It Will Last

As herds of sheep-like hoarders continue to stockpile millions of rolls of toilet paper for reasons which even they do not understand, a website has just pooped up that should help to ease the anxiety people are feeling regarding loo roll that is leading them to panic buy; just because other people are.

Many of us who have not lost their common sense are wondering why people are still panic buying despite there being no indication whatsoever that: a) the shops are going to shut b) we are going to run out of food.

Of course, there are those despicable and greedy individuals who have panic bought items just so that they can sell them back to their fellow citizens at an inflated price.

We will have to hope that karma finds such individuals when the time is right.

But if you really are not sure how long your supply of loo roll will last, then a handy calculator has emerged that should enlighten you somewhat.

According to the website, with my four remaining rolls of toilet paper, then I should be ok for the next 48 days based on me going for a poop once a day.

The site tells me that this covers 114% of my quarantine period.

If you are one of the weirdos who has stockpiled toilet paper in every cupboard in your house, then, assuming that you eat well and only take a dump once a day, then your supply of 200 rolls should last you 3200 days.

With this in mind, if you do happen to have 200 loo rolls hidden away, then why not share them out with people who have none?

You know; the people you deprived the opportunity of buying enough toilet roll to get them through the week, let alone through the next EIGHT YEARS – because that’s how long your 200 loo rolls are going to last!

Now all we need is a website that does the same thing for the people who have panic bought billions of tonnes of pasta, pasta sauce, rice and other everyday items which will still be around for the foreseeable future.

When this is all over, then I would like to buy the person who made this site a beer.

If you want to visit the ‘loo roll calculator’ then visit: howmuchtoiletpaper.com/

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Some Shoppers Have No Shame As Food Bank Trolley Is Raided

A Tesco superstore located in Hove (Brighton) has been forced to remove its food bank donation trolley after shameless panic buyers were spotted raiding it. 

BrightonAndHoveNews.org reported that a customer alerted staff to the fact that some shameless panic-buyers were removing items from the trolly that had been placed behind the tills at the Tesco superstore in Church Road, Hove. 

The store had asked shoppers to leave donations with cashiers at the checkouts to help the vulnerable members of the local community who were unable to venture out to the shops. 

Former councillor Chris Hawtree, said: 

“I was shocked to hear in a #Hove supermarket that its food-bank basket has been taken out the back because people were stealing tins from it as they could not find stock to buy.”

There seems to be no end to the stories emerging from shopping isles around the country of greedy hoarders obsessing about buying vast quantities of pasta, wet wipes, toilet paper and other everyday items.

These hoarders are making the situation far worse and are putting a strain on the supply network, meaning that essential items are taking longer to be re-stocked. 

Parents of young children and new-born babies are also finding that the shelves are empty when they look for formula milk, nappies and baby wipes only to find then that the morally corrupt individuals who have bulk-bought the items are then selling them online for up to 5x their RRP. 

Imagine sitting at home with several months worth of baby wipes, nappies, formula milk, toilet roll, pasta etc. etc. knowing that an elderly or vulnerable neighbour or a new parent is sat at home with nothing? 

Some people really are morally corrupt. They have no shame. 

It was good to see that my local Waitrose was actually handing out toilet roll to shoppers one-per-customer this morning. 

Now, they just need to do the same with pasta, baby wipes, paracetamol, nappies, formula milk and tinned fruit & veg. 

And yet despite all this, some people wonder why advanced civilisations from outer space haven’t made mass contact with us yet!? 

Would you want to make contact with earthlings if you were passing through the solar system!? I doubt it! 

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News Outlet Sets Up New ‘Coronavirus / COVID-19 Support & Information Facebook Group’ For ‘Vulnerable’ People

As we face an unprecedented global emergency, not seen before in recent times, more and more people are feeling isolated and anxious. 

Access to factual information that has not been ‘ramped up’ or ‘spun’ to get clicks is also increasingly hard to find. 

But a Facebook group that has been set up by ‘Emergency Services News‘ hopes to not only offer support for the vulnerable but also hopes to be able to share timely and accurate information about this fast-moving situation. 

In the group’s description, an admin for the group announced:

“This group has been set up by our news team in order to enable the general public to get access to factual information regarding the COVID-19 outbreak.

“It has also been set up in order to offer support to anyone who may need it.

“For example, if you are in a vulnerable situation but DO NOT need immediate help, then it is our hope that fellow group members might be able to offer you some help and/or guidance via this virtual community.

“We have set the group up so that all posts must be approved by an admin prior to being posted. 

“This is because we do not want any ‘fake news’ or false information being shared. 

“Admin group approval will also mean that no SPAM etc. should make its way into the group.

“If our news team spots a story that we think will be of benefit to group members (outside of our own reporting), then we will share the link to the story once we have verified (as much as we can) that the story is genuine.

“And lastly, if you feel isolated or alone then we hope that this group will be able to connect you with other people who are feeling the same.

“If you are elderly or vulnerable or you are a parent who has run out of essential items such as formula milk, then we hope that others may be able to help you.

“Please also note that we are NOT a governmental organisation. We are a news outlet run by former emergency services/armed forces personnel. For the latest advice on Coronavirus/COVID-19 please visit: 

“NHS.uk/coronavirus”.

The group has only been set up this morning, so it will be interesting to see just how many people join it. 

But at a time when we are all feeling anxious and isolated, then hopefully this group will be able to connect people and bring people together. 

To join the group, CLICK HERE

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Couple Spotted Planting Toilet Roll In The Hope That More Can Be Harvested

As we all need a smile on our faces, then we thought that we would share this bizarre video that has popped up on social media.

In the video below, we can see a couple who are planting rolls of toilet paper into a field that has been rotavated (is that the right word?) ready for the rolls of toilet paper to be ‘seeded’.

I am not into gardening (yet), so I have no idea as to how many rolls of bog paper can be grown from a single roll.

But it’s worth a try! And the sight of it definitely bought a smile to my face for about 30 seconds (the length of the video).

Of course, it’s a light-hearted ‘prank’ intended just to raise a few smiles.

We have to add this otherwise people will start “panic planting” their 3-year supply of toilet paper into the ground.

Whole streets could end up being destroyed as people use the ground to plant toilet paper.

You may laugh, but if we told you three weeks ago that people would be panic buying loo roll from the shops, then you would have never of believed us!

Somos um povo fantástico 💪

Posted by Helena Neres on Saturday, March 14, 2020

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Irish Government Urges ALL Pubs To Close For Two Weeks

All pubs in Ireland have been asked to close by the Irish Government in a desperate bid to tackle the spread of coronavirus, Health Minister Simon Harris has confirmed.

Following a meeting with the Vintners’ Federation of Ireland today (15th March), Mr Harris said that all pubs and bars should close from this evening until at least 29th March.

A Government statement said:

“The LVA and VFI outlined the real difficulty in implementing the published Guidelines on Social Distancing in a public house setting, as pubs are specifically designed to promote social interaction in a situation where alcohol reduces personal inhibitions.

“For the same reason, the Government is also calling on all members of the public not to organise or participate in any parties in private houses or other venues which would put other peoples’ health at risk.

“The Government, having consulted with the Chief Medical Officer, believes that this is an essential public health measure given the reports of reckless behaviour by some members of the public in certain pubs last night.”

The advice to close is also being given to hotels which have bars. 

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