Things For Veterans Consider Whilst Adjusting To Civvy Street

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1. Speech:

•Time should never begin with a zero or end in a hundred; it is not 0530 or 1400. It is 5:30 am or 2 in the afternoon.

•Words like “pit”, and “PT” will get you weird looks; use bed, workout, get used to it.

• “F uck” cannot be used to replace whatever word you can’t think of right now. Try “um” instead.

•Do not refer to your suits numerically; your best jacket and trousers are not your number 1’s

3. Women:

•Being divorced twice by the time you are 23 is not normal. Neither are 6-month marriages, even if it is your first.

•Marrying a girl so that you can move out of the barracks does not make “financial sense”. 

Personal accomplishments:

•In the real world, being able to do lots of press-ups will not lead to an automatic promotion or help your career in any way.

•How much pain you can take is not a personal accomplishment.

4. Drinking:

•NATO is an organisation, not the way you want your tea made

•In the real world, being drunk before 5 pm will get you a written warning (or sacked), not a pat on the back from your boss.

•Shouting “Naked Bar” at your works Christmas party will have no effect.

•That time you drank a bottle of Absinth and shat in your pal’s pit is not a conversation starter.

•That time you went to the combat lifesaver school and practised giving vodka iv’s will probably not impress a civilian.

5. Bodily functions:

•Farting on your co-workers and then laughing hysterically while you walk away may be viewed as “unprofessional”.

•The size of the dump you took yesterday will not be funny regardless of how big it was, how much it burned, how much it smelled….. or how clear the photo is.

•VD will also not be funny.

The human body:

•Most people will not want to hear about or see your balls. Odd as that may seem, it’s true.

•If your arse is sore, don’t ask your colleague on the next desk if he can see what’s wrong with it.

6. Spending habits:

•One day, you will have to pay for the things that keep you alive; heat, light, shelter, food, doctor, etc, etc

•Buying a £30,000 car on a £16,000 a year salary is a really, really stupid idea.

7. Interacting with civilians:

•Making fun of your neighbour to his face for being a ‘leftie’ will not make you popular in the neighbourhood.

8. Real jobs:

•They really can fire you. On the flip side you really can quit.

•Screaming at the people that work for you will not be normal. Remember they really can quit too. And taking naps at work will not be acceptable.

•Sport is no longer part of your working week. Wednesday afternoons are for work, just like every other afternoon

9. The Law:

•Your civvy boss, unlike your C/O, can’t save you and probably won’t. In fact most likely you will be fired about 5 minutes after he finds out you’ve been arrested.

•Fighting is not a normal thing and will get you arrested and/or fired, not yelled at.

10. General knowledge:

•You can in fact really say what you think about the Royal Family in public places.

•Pain is not weakness leaving the body. It’s just pain.

•They won’t wear anything shiny that tells you they are more important then you are. Be polite.

•You no longer have to go to the POL point; just go to the BP garage like everyone else

Finally

11. Read the contracts before you sign them – remember what happened the first time…!!! 

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