‘If You Can Smell My F*rt, We Are Not Far Enough Apart’ | Shopper Sticks Sign On His Back

As it looks like social distancing will now be a part of our everyday lives for some time, most of us have a rough idea as to how far two metres is — such being the distance required to help us to avoid getting COVID-19 as we shop for our bog roll. 

But I am sure that some of you have noticed now that people are starting to get a bit tired of self-enforcing the two-metre rule. 

Last night, I went to my local Tesco and based on the complete lack of social distancing, then you would have thought that we currently weren’t facing a global pandemic emergency. 

I ended up jumping around all over the place to try and avoid my fellow shoppers who could not give a toss about the two-metre rule. 

But an image sent into us by a follower could prove to be the answer re ensuring that people stay AT LEAST two metres away from you. 

A shopper had a note taped to his back that said:

“If You Can Smell My F*rt, We Are Not Far Enough Apart”.

Of course, for the sign to be effective, then the shopper wearing it would need to be pumping out a constant stream of methane aka ‘bum gas’. 

But unless you have a gluten intolerance and are still gorging on gluten-infused bread, then you aren’t going to be emitting a constant methane cloud. 

Maybe the sign is enough to remind people that you should be giving each other a 2-metre-wide berth when you are panic buying all of the lemons because ‘Karen’ on social media told you that you need more Vit C. 

But what other measures can you think of that could prove to be useful when it comes to keeping people away from you? Let us know in the comments below:

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