New Website Tells You How Much Toilet Paper You Actually Need And How Long It Will Last

As herds of sheep-like hoarders continue to stockpile millions of rolls of toilet paper for reasons which even they do not understand, a website has just pooped up that should help to ease the anxiety people are feeling regarding loo roll that is leading them to panic buy; just because other people are.

Many of us who have not lost their common sense are wondering why people are still panic buying despite there being no indication whatsoever that: a) the shops are going to shut b) we are going to run out of food.

Of course, there are those despicable and greedy individuals who have panic bought items just so that they can sell them back to their fellow citizens at an inflated price.

We will have to hope that karma finds such individuals when the time is right.

But if you really are not sure how long your supply of loo roll will last, then a handy calculator has emerged that should enlighten you somewhat.

According to the website, with my four remaining rolls of toilet paper, then I should be ok for the next 48 days based on me going for a poop once a day.

The site tells me that this covers 114% of my quarantine period.

If you are one of the weirdos who has stockpiled toilet paper in every cupboard in your house, then, assuming that you eat well and only take a dump once a day, then your supply of 200 rolls should last you 3200 days.

With this in mind, if you do happen to have 200 loo rolls hidden away, then why not share them out with people who have none?

You know; the people you deprived the opportunity of buying enough toilet roll to get them through the week, let alone through the next EIGHT YEARS – because that’s how long your 200 loo rolls are going to last!

Now all we need is a website that does the same thing for the people who have panic bought billions of tonnes of pasta, pasta sauce, rice and other everyday items which will still be around for the foreseeable future.

When this is all over, then I would like to buy the person who made this site a beer.

If you want to visit the ‘loo roll calculator’ then visit: howmuchtoiletpaper.com/

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