An unknown male has written a letter addressed to ‘Technical Support’ after apparently experiencing quite a few ‘technical’ issues with his partner.
The letter said:
‘Dear Technical Support,
’18 months ago, I upgraded to Girlfriend 1.0 from DrinkingMates 4.2, which I had used for years without any trouble.
‘However, there are conflicts between these two products and the only solution was to try and run Girlfriend 1.0 with the sound turned off.
‘To make matters worse, Girlfriend 1.0 is incompatible with several other applications, such as LadsNightOut 3.1, Football 4.5, and Playboy 6.9.
‘Successive versions of GirlFriend proved no better.
‘I tried a shareware program, Slapper 2.1, but it had many bugs and left a virus in my system, forcing me to shut down completely for several weeks.
‘Eventually, I tried to run GirlFriend 1.2 and Girlfriend 1.0 at the same time, only to discover that when these two systems detected each other, they caused severe damage to my hardware.
‘I eventually upgraded to Fiancée 1.0, only to discover that this product soon had to be enhanced further to Wife 1.0.
‘While Wife 1.0 tends to use up all my available resources, it does come bundled with FreeSexPlus and Cleanhouse2005.
‘Shortly after this upgrade, however, I found that Wife 1.0 could be volatile and costly to run. Any mistakes I made were automatically stored in Wife 1.0’s memory and could not be deleted.
‘They then resurfaced months later when I had forgotten about them.
‘Wife 1.0 also has an automatic Diary, Explorer and Email filter, and can, without warning, launch TurboStrop and Multi-Whinge.
‘These latter products have no Help files, and I have to try to guess what the problem is.
‘Additional problems are that Wife 1.0 needs regularly updating, requiring ShoeShop Browser for new attachments and Hairstyle Express which needs to be reinstalled every other week.
‘Also, when Wife 1.0 attaches itself to my Saab93 Convertible hard drive, it often crashes. Wife 1.0 also comes with an irritating pop-up called MotherInLaw, which can’t be turned off.
‘Recently I’ve been tempted to install Mistress 2005, but I’ve been told there could be problems. A friend of mine has alerted me to the fact that if Wife 1.0 detects Mistress 2005, it tends to delete all of your Money before uninstalling itself.
‘Any advice would be helpful, many thanks’.
I wonder if he received any advice similar to:
‘I would install OneHandSolo. This programme runs independently with no risk of virus. It also comes highly recommended with the best satisfaction rates’.
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