Dad Pleads With His Children For Five Minutes Of Peace On The Toilet

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If you have got kids, or you have had to look after family members little ones, then you will know that ‘alone time’ on the porcelain throne (the toilet) soon becomes a thing of the past. 

That once peaceful moment on the toilet soon turns into your kids banging on the door and demanding that you give them some chocolate. 

After your children first find the locking mechanism for your bathroom door, regardless as to how many moving parts there are to it, then that’s it. 

It gets taken apart, and thus your mini-me’s can walk in on you anytime they want to (which is pretty much all of the time). 

“Dear Kids, 

“When I go to the toilet and close the door behind me, you are not missing anything. 

“I am not splitting the atom in here; I am not turning lead into ****ing gold. 

“I am just. Having. A. Sh*t.

“So please, you are my greatest achievement, my testament to humanity. 

“I love you with the glare and heat of a thousand suns but…

“f*** off for five minutes, eh?”

We are not sure how successful the note has been or whether or not its author has been able to poop in peace, having posted the letter on his bathroom door. 

But you can tell from his emotional words, that he really just wants to enjoy ‘dropping the kids off at the pool’ on his own. 

If you can think of any more euphemism for going for a poop, then let us know in the comments below

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One comment

  1. Parking a brown canoe in poo bay

    Sending a slippery sausage to the seaside

    Warning Dover Coastguard a hazard to shipping is en route.

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