If you have got kids, or you have had to look after family members little ones, then you will know that ‘alone time’ on the porcelain throne (the toilet) soon becomes a thing of the past.
That once peaceful moment on the toilet soon turns into your kids banging on the door and demanding that you give them some chocolate.
After your children first find the locking mechanism for your bathroom door, regardless as to how many moving parts there are to it, then that’s it.
It gets taken apart, and thus your mini-me’s can walk in on you anytime they want to (which is pretty much all of the time).
“When I go to the toilet and close the door behind me, you are not missing anything.
“I am not splitting the atom in here; I am not turning lead into ****ing gold.
“I am just. Having. A. Sh*t.
“So please, you are my greatest achievement, my testament to humanity.
“I love you with the glare and heat of a thousand suns but…
“f*** off for five minutes, eh?”
We are not sure how successful the note has been or whether or not its author has been able to poop in peace, having posted the letter on his bathroom door.
But you can tell from his emotional words, that he really just wants to enjoy ‘dropping the kids off at the pool’ on his own.
If you can think of any more euphemism for going for a poop, then let us know in the comments below
Before you leave us...
Don't forget to subscribe to our monthly newsletter, S**ts & Giggles! It contains ALL of the content that we are not allowed to share on social media.
S**ts & Giggles is emailed directly to our subscribers and is guaranteed to brighten up your day as well as your inbox
Every month, we get sent loads of content that we cannot share on social media, owing to various 'community standards' rules. None of the content that goes into our Newsletter is extreme. Neither is it political. It is just, well, funny...
And best of all, it only costs just £1 each month to subscribe!
You can cancel your subscription at any time and you are not tied into long and drawn out subscription periods. Your £1 each month helps us to keep our teaboat fully stocked, so if you do subscribe, then thank you!
It only costs £1 per month to subscribe!. You can subscribe below using Paypal or with your debit/credit card
Because remember: Laughter is stress leaving the body!