“Two Patients Assaulted In A Chip Shop (Both Battered)”

When you are halfway through a shift that feels like it is going on forever, then an instant morale boost can come in many forms, but it often involves some light-hearted laughter. 

Thankfully for the emergency services, control room staff up-and-down the country can subconsciously uplift the morale of their colleagues just by some choice words added into a Computer Aided Dispatch (CAD) message.  

CAD messages are sent to mobile data terminals which are found in emergency service vehicles.

They included the essential elements of a call so that, in this case, ambulance crews can arrive on the scene with as much information as possible. 

But sometimes, CAD messages contain some little gems when it comes to helping to raise a smile – and this is a prime example of that. 

An ambulance crew had been sent to a call involving two patients who had come to blows in a chippy. 

The CAD message read: ‘2nd crew requested to scene – 2 patients assaulted in a chip shop – both battered’. 

in terms of puns contained in CAD messages, then this has to be one of the best ones which we have seen – it fitted right into ‘plaice.’ 

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