Something Tells Me This Isn’t An Official NHS Sign

An offensive NHS sign that was sent to us by a follower

We are used to seeing signs everywhere now that remind us to wash our hands as often as possible – and many of them are NHS signs. 

Trying not to ‘zone out’ when you see this messages of encouragement can be quite hard. So it is essential to make sure that these NHS signs and public information messages stand out. 

Something’s Not Quite Right With This NHS Sign…

But when one of our followers sent us a picture of an ‘NHS sign’ that they had allegedly spotted whilst out on manoeuvres, our suspicions were immediately raised. 

When you look at it, the sign seems to be in the right font and has the right colours. 

But when you read it (glasses on), then it becomes evident that this sign is indeed an ‘im-poster’. 

Because we do not want to fall foul of any community standard violations, we have blurred out the “offensive” words. But you can probably get the picture and/or work them out for yourself.

An offensive NHS sign that was sent to us by a follower
We have blurred out some of the words in order not to offend anyone.

The NHS Is Not Sexist.

Suffice to say that this fake NHS sign could be described as being sexist and that it might offend people from a particular part of London. And the NHS is not sexist. 

If you subscribe to our £1-per-month eMagazine, S**ts & Giggles, then, of course, we can share the original image with you without fear of being sent to social media prison. 

If you would like to subscribe, then please click HERE

And if you have any other similar ‘offensive’ pictures to send, then feel free to DM us, and we will add them to our eMagazine instead of sharing them in public (so we don’t get told off).

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Even Military Vehicles Aren’t Safe From Note Leavers

We have all heard stories about rude and obnoxious notes which have been left on emergency vehicles, but not military vehicles. Often, the messages have been left as the crew of the emergency vehicle deal with a life-or-death emergency.

The majority of the notes are rude and are offensive and are left by the sort of person who sits at home in their parent’s basement, trolling people on social media.

Rarely will a professional note leaver actually try and voice their opinion face-to-face (which isn’t always a bad thing_?). Instead, they prefer to unleash their anger on the paper, leave the note and then run for the hills. 

We have seen notes being left on police, ambulance, fire and even search and rescue vehicles.

Once you can decipher the often cryptic messages, then it does not take long to work out that, more often than not, the person leaving the note has a few ‘issues’. 

Most of the people who leave the notes need to go on some sort of creative writing course because the notes often tend to be a bit bland and full of grammatical errors.

There are a whole host of books available on Amazon that can help people to be more ‘creative’ when they write…

Your Military Vehicle is ‘Illegally Parked’

And now it would seem that even military vehicles, in this case, a car belonging to the Royal Military Police, are not free from the note-writing skills of professional note-writers. 

An image, sent to us by a follower, shows a marked RMP vehicle with a note left on its windscreen that said:

‘Illegally Parked

‘This vehicle has been illegally parked. The VRN has been noted and passed to the Guard Room. 

‘The operator of this vehicle is to report to the Guard Room immediately’. 

military vehicle with a note left on its windscreen
The fiery note that was left on a RMP vehicle

Did the driver of this military vehicle get off lightly?

At least there weren’t any rude words in this note.

We don’t have the details of where/when the vehicle was parked, but I can just imagine the look on the faces of the lads and lasses who were in the guard room when this professional note-writer dropped off the bit of paper with the vehicles VRN on it!

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WATCH | Care Home Residents Take Part In Viral TikTok Videos

During the pandemic, care and nursing home residents and staff have been particularly hard hit. The fact that we are not allowed to see our relatives has taken its toll not only on the morale of residents but the family members of residents as well. 

Like many of you, I have not been able to visit my family member who is currently in a care home. I haven’t been able to hug my 101-year-old grandad since the lockdown started all those months ago.

Gazing through a two-inch gap in the window can never be the same as giving him a reassuring hug. We can only hope that it won’t be long now until there is a rapid COVID test that will once again allow us to hug and cuddle our loved-ones who are in care homes. 

One of the most challenging jobs for care home staff has been to keep their residents motivated. I know that the team at my grandad’s care home work incredibly hard under difficult conditions to try and keep his morale up. They do a fantastic job. I admire anyone who works in a care/nursing home – I really do. 

TikTok Saves The Day!

But one care home has taken to making TikTok videos as a way to help stimulate the morale of their residents. And they seem to have gone down a treat judging by the viewing stats of one of the videos which was uploaded to social media recently. 

In the TikTok video (below), residents take on a cameo role as Dolly Parton’s ‘Working 9-5’ hit song plays in the background. The short video (below) has been viewed over 367k times which is quite impressive. There are plenty of other videos too which have been uploaded by @emmathackray who works at the home. And the residents seem to love taking part in them! 

Please have a look for yourself and let us know what you think in the comments below!

I Went Plant-Based, And Now There’s No Going Back…

My partner is a vegetarian. She decided that she no longer wanted to eat meat anymore when she was 12-years-old, because of the appalling conditions which some animals are kept in. We have all seen the videos on Amazon Prime Video of puss-filled livestock in tiny pens as they prepare to be killed. It is not pleasant. 

My partner has never tried to turn me into a vegetarian. But when you live with someone who does not eat meat, then you also tend not to eat meat, just because it is pointless cooking two meals at the same time. She also kept various vegan cookbooks and vegetarian cookbooks around the house and, after reading them whilst being sat on the toilet, I am not ashamed to say that I thought that these meals looked good. 

I had dabbled with the idea of becoming a vegetarian for some time. I am an animal lover and, as such, eating animals just for the fun of it never really made sense to me. I prefer seeing animals in their natural habitats rather than seeing them covered in their own faeces as they are led off to the slaughterhouse. 

So in Jan this year, I decided that I was going to give up meat and dairy. I watched a film called ‘What The Health‘, and it convinced me to shy away from eating animal products for a while. If you have not seen it yet, then I would recommend spending the time to sit down and watch it. You can watch it on Amazon Prime Video by clicking here. Watch it and then leave a comment below and let me know what you think. 

So, after getting the p**s ripped out of me by my meat-loving friends, I took the plunge and decided to only put products into my body which have been made by nature and which do not have eyes. 

For the first couple of days, most of my time was spent on the toilet. I have little doubt that my body was getting rid of all of the rubbish that I had eaten during the preceding 72 hours. 

But after the ‘detox’ and after a few headaches, I felt different. I felt like I had more energy. I felt younger and fitter. I am by no means overweight. I am 6ft 4 and go down the gym about 3-4 times per week. But my body felt more alive. I had been hesitant to give being a vegan/vegetarian a go, but now, nine months later, I won’t be going back to my old ways. 

By the way, if you want to learn more about detoxing your body, then it is well worth doing some reading up on it so that you understand what the process involves. You can find a selection of books regarding how to detox here.

The main problem I have with meat is the cr*p that is injected into meat and the relationship that this cr*p has with our bodies. We were never designed to eat hormones or to ingest the sort of chemicals which are injected into meats to make them last longer just to appease the supermarkets. 

If you owned a sports car, then you would not expect it to work correctly if you filled it up with dirty fuel, right? And yet, our bodies are infinitely more complicated than sports cars but far too many of us are happy just to pump our stomachs full of nasty things which our bodies were never designed to ingest.

Since giving up meat and dairy, I feel the same as what I felt when I was in my late teens. Don’t get me wrong; if someone served me some meat, and I knew that the meat had been fed organic food, hadn’t been injected with hormones and hadn’t been washed with chemicals which will strip the paint off of your car, then I would eat it. 

But, alas, it is very rare to find meat that ticks all of these boxes. 

So, for now, I will give meat a miss, and I will stick to my vegan diet. I do not give a f**k what my friends say now. My body and my health is more important than the banter that is aimed at me. 

So I now only eat food that has been made by nature and is still in the form that nature made it rather than eating food made and sold by companies where profit is their primary motivation rather than peoples health. 

If you want to cook some ridiculously tasty vegan recipes from scratch, but you don’t know where to start, then try ‘Plant Based Cookbook‘. They have some fantastic recipes and food ideas which will convince you that becoming a vegan or vegetarian was the right thing to do. 

And if you really want to understand why it is vital that your body consumes as much fruit and veg as it can, then I cannot recommend: ‘Superfoods to Superhealth: Intelligent and sustainable food choices for the next generation‘ enough.

It has been written by a GP and is an eye-opening read. I have purchased three copies of it so far and gave one copy to my mother-in-law who was diagnosed with bladder cancer back in November. 

You can buy it on Amazon for £29.32p, or you can get it on Kindle for £9.99, or you can get it for free when you sign up to a 28-day trial with Amazon’s Audible by clicking HERE.

These Midwives Wanted To Get Ready For Halloween In A Unique Way

Every Halloween, we all try to get hold of some Halloween decorations which will help our display to stick out. Every year, we try and come up with new ideas that will help raise a smile in the people we work or live with. 

I will admit, that my previous efforts when it comes to Halloween decorations have been pretty lame. There are only so many fake body parts you can lay around your house before they get eaten by your dog (or cat). 

And when it comes to pumpkin carving, then I am not ashamed to admit that I am hopeless. I can just about make a half-decent circle in a pumpkin, let alone carve something that even Banksy would be proud of. 

But some midwives have used their clinical knowledge and their carving skills to create a set of pumpkins that actually represent the different levels of dilation of women who are in labour. 

When my wife gave birth to our two kids, like most other fathers, I stayed at the head end of the action rather than at the bottom end. So when our absolutely fantastic midwife kept saying how many centimetres dilated my wife was, then I tried to picture it (don’t ask) in my head rather than looking for myself. 

But these great pumpkins leave no doubt in the imagination when it comes to getting a visual representation of just how big, or rather, how wide, 10 cm is. 

To the women of the world; I salute and commend you. 

If you need some Halloween decorations, then you can grab some from Amazon from as little as 6.99. They also sell Pumpkin carving kits from 9.99 and pumpkin decorations from 4.98 (although I will be impressed if you can outdo this midwifery display!). 

WATCH | Lads In Fake ‘Police’ Car Drive Up On Couple In Dark Car Park

A public video has surfaced on TikTok which shows the moment when three lads drive up to a car in the middle of nowhere before turning on a blue light and siren.

In the one minute video, the lads can be seen driving up towards the car as one of them tells the driver to put his high-beam on in an attempt to illuminate a vehicle that was parked in a beauty spot.

The video starts at the same time as one of the passengers says: ‘its the police coming through’ (referring to the fact that they have illegally fitted/activated a blue light and siren to/on their car).

Another lad in the vehicle can be heard to say: ‘We’re gonna pull them over..watch this…they’re gonna get it…they’re gonna s**t themselves from our blue light’.

As they get nearer to the parked car, one of the lads tells the driver to turn on his high beam as they drive towards the vehicle. He then says to the driver: ‘do it now’ as the driver turns on a siren and blue light that appears to be fitted to the windscreen.

The trio then stops next to the red car, turn the siren off and leave the blue lights flashing as they wait for the occupants of the red vehicle to get out of the car.

The front seat passenger then reaches for a public address system that has also been fitted to the car and says: ‘hello, can you step out of the vehicle please…can you pull yourself out of the vehicle…what are you doing there?’.

At this point, a female exits the vehicle from the front passenger side followed a few seconds later by a male who exits the car from the front driver’s seat.

One of the passengers in the fake ‘police’ vehicle then tells the driver to pull away before the male who was in the red vehicle gets to the fake ‘cop car’.

One of the males then says to the male who was in the red car: ‘I had you there didn’t I’ as they all leave the scene, laughing as they drive off.

Using blue lights and sirens on a vehicle that is not an emergency vehicle can land you in some serious trouble with the law.

Forget Beer Pong – ‘Battleshots’ Is The New Must Have Drinking Game

With the prospect of more and more lockdowns coming into force around the country, then there is a good chance that most of us are going to have to keep ourselves entertained indoors, rather than venturing out. 

Beer Pong has, for ages now, been the drinking game of choice when it comes to having a few drinks with your pals. But, for many of us, the novelty of beer pong has slowly, but surely, faded away. 

But fear not, as ‘Battleshots‘ could be the new drinking fad that we are all looking for. Most of us are probably familiar with the traditional battleships board game. There is still something satisfying about blowing your mates virtuals ships and subs up. 

So when you combine this bizarre feeling of satisfaction with a drinking game, then you are on to a real winner. 

You can grab the ‘battleshots’ drinking game on Amazon from £14.99p, and if you are an Amazon Prime customer, then you can also take advantage of free shipping. 

If you do end up buying this board game, then let us know how you get on with it. 

Police Respond To Social Media User Who Referred To Police Sirens As ‘Police Brutality’

If you live in an inner-city area, then you are probably used to the noise from the sirens of emergency vehicles as they race around the city, trying to save lives. 

When I used to live in London, I experienced this noise for myself. After a while, I kind of got used to it, knowing that my choice to live where I did meant that I would probably be woken up regularly to the noise of sirens and the police helicopter. 

But that is just a part of ‘urban’ life, right? If like me, then you are a light sleeper, then you can invest in a pair of earplugs as they tend to cancel out the noise quite well. 

In the summer, when keeping your window closed isn’t an option, then I always found that leaving the fan on in the background created enough background noise so that the sirens would not wake me up. 

But one social media user decided that enough was enough. They tweeted the Kansas City Police Department to say:

‘The excessive use and volume of @kcpolices’ siren is a form for police brutality. 

‘Whether you’re walking on sidewalk or sleeping with your windows open, the volume and frequency in which these are used are detrimental to people’s well being and state of mind’. 

@kcpolice responded in a no-nonsense way by tweeting:

‘Our policy states we are to respond lights and sirens to calls that present danger to human life. 

‘We apologize that our trying to respond to save lives in a timely fashion inconveniences you’.

Nobody likes to be woken up. But when you live in the city, it becomes a part of daily life. But what do you think of this citizens complaint and the subsequent response? Let us know in the comments below. 

This Is What We Need Right Now – The WORLD’S Largest Chocolate Fountain

When morale is low, then we need something that we can focus on that can bring us hope and visual pleasure. 

And for many people, looking forward to a time when we can move about freely again and visit the worlds largest chocolate fountain is precisely that ‘hope’ (if you are a chocolate lover). 

Last month, gourmet chocolate maker Lindt opened the worlds largest chocolate fountain in the worlds largest chocolate museum in Zurich. 

It is just over nine metres tall and has 1,500 litres of chocolate flowing through it – enough to satisfy even the most hardcore chocoholics. 

If you manage to get there, there is one slight problem though; and that is that you are not allowed to dip any part of your body (including your tongue) in it. 

Should you make it to the museum, then your disappointment will probably be short-lived, however, because you will still be able to indulge yourself in some bespoke chocolate bars that can be custom made according to your chocolate-preferences. 

Yet another reason to look forward to the global pandemic retreating sometime in the not too distant future. 

In the meantime, you will just have to jump online and order your supply of Lindt chocolate and maybe think about making your chocolate fountain at home. 

Humans, On Average, Have Their Highest Sex Drive In The Autumn

If you are starting to feel a bit frisky now that the autumn has arrived, then you are not alone. On Average, we humans tend to have our highest sex drive at this time of year. 

Which is a bit of a bummer if you are currently single and aren’t able to go out to your local pubs/clubs to meet someone (assuming you aren’t addicted to apps like Tinder). 

But why are our sex drives higher in autumn? 

Well, some people say that its because we are nine months away from the warmer weather and that nature has programmed us to be more ‘active’ now since there is more food available in the summer months. 

Our ancestors would have had a hard time (no pun intended) if most of their offspring were born in the winter months, So it makes sense to ‘progam’ our instinct to be more sexually active in the autumn months. 

As the saying goes: ‘Berries be red, nuts be brown. Petticoats up, trousers down” (as quoted by Sir Terry Pratchett and Spike Milligan). 

If you become aware of any specific date, then be sure to let our readers know in the comments so that they can keep an eye open for it. 

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